On Saturday October 7th, I am taking part in the #Walk2EndALZ in Huntington Beach, CA. I am so thankful for all of the support I have already received on my page and I am really looking forward to taking a part in something so powerful & positive.
Alzheimer’s Disease is very close to my heart. Both of my grandparents on my Mom’s side were affected by Alzheimer’s Disease. This is my way to reconnect with both of them. Here is where things get a bit real, so I advise you to sit down. Be ready, this may shock you.
I will open with the simple statement that I have found a way to process this, live with it and accept it. Acceptance is everything when it comes to moving on from negative experiences in life. So, it is important to say. I am GOOD. Totally ok, but I have this space now with my blog to not just connect with you, but to let you in. Share my life with you. The good, the bad & the ugly. Let’s categorize this with “The ugly!”
My grandfather passed away around NYE 2015. I say “Around” because my family, as usual was not honest with me about his passing. I was given the information past the time that I would be able to attend his service. My brother has permanently isolated me from all holidays, family events etc since I got into the business years ago. So he again stepped in to ensure I would not be present for this event. he sucks, but I accepted all of that in the early 90’s. Not even a thing. BUT this- well when this happened I was at a time in my life where I was living part time in NYC so that I could take the bus home to Easton, PA & visit my grandparents in their nursing homes & see my dear friend Peggy in hers. Yes, those were my visits, but I loved them. I was in a place in my life where I was in tune to know that they were all closing out their lives & I wanted to be a big part of that. So, back to the facts, my Mom lied to me about the actual day my grandfather passed away & though I was with him roughly a couple days before he actually passed, I was told late so that I wuld not take the bus home & attend his service. Lame, yes. Mortifing & insulting YES. Unforgiveable YES. This all led to many cracks in an already flawed family relationship & left me feeling that was potentially my final straw. I had no forgivemess left.
After taking some time to try to have conversations with my family, during a time where there was a lot of negative things coming from my retirement to them, it blew up and in August of 2015 I saw my Mom & My family for the last time. I can look back to the trip to the bus stop with my Mom. I knew that was going to be it, our last visit, I felt it the entire drive in my gut. I cried the entire ride from Easton, PA to NYC In the bus. This was not my first time being cut off from my family, the feeling was familiar. Painful, but something I had already endured, so it was something I knew I could survive.
This brings me to my grandmother. My grandmother was the most affected by Alzheimer’s Disease and after my grandfather passed away each time I would visit her she would talk about him as if she didn’t know where he was. It was so hard to witness, so sad after years of their love.
After that last trip in August of 2015, I have been cut off from everything, including my grandmother in her nursing home. So, now, 1 x a week, I scroll the local obituaries from Easton, PA to see if I can get any information on my grandmother. I have no idea if she is still alive, still in the home, nothing.
So in my process of acceptance and my desire to send love however I can, I decided to get involved with The Alzheimer’s Foundation. Taking this walk and furthering my involvement with #ENDALZ is my way to be ok with all of these things in my life. Contribution is going to be the way I reconnect in a positive way and do something to show my endless love for my grandparents.
As you can see, this topic is very close to my heart. By raising money for the Alzheimer’s Foundation I am turning a negative into a positive for others.
If you haven’t yet contributed to my page, please do. Every little bit adds up to more positive support for my mission.
THE PHOTO- This is from the last time I saw my Grandfather (I called him PA) alive. In this picture you can see a trophy next to him. My Pa had just won a Wi Bowling Competition at the nursing home. My Pa was the coolest man I have ever known. He was the worlds best story teller. He taught me how to be a strong woman, he taught me my way around a tool box, showed me how everything worked, from electricity to plumbing, there is nothing I can not attempt myself, thanks to my Pa.