A couple of years ago a friend said something to me that literally changed my life and incredibly improved my mindset moving forward.. This same saying could really be the key to next level happiness for everyone. Let me explain. We live in a world of insane amounts of expectations and entitlement. It is more of a United States thing as I have learned in my travels. I equate it to the mere fact that having too much of anything is not a good thing. Here, in the US, I think we all can agree we have a bit too much of everything and quite possibly it has confused the hell out of many!
The exact quote from a friend I have incredible respect and admiration for and also a friend that in my time of transition in life was there for me, a total rock. That friend Bob Harris, of the Football Diehards, said to me “Lisa, they key to life is simple, lower your expectations!” the combo Ah-Ha moment mixed in with a total facepalm!
That desire, that need to have everything we want creates an unrealistic pattern where all we do is strive for more. When instead, at times, we should all just take a beat, be still and find the joy in everything we already have. Family, relationships, friendships, jobs, place to live you get it. Most important know that “things and or stuff” are dead last. Material items should never be the key to motivation, being mindful of us and others should be first and foremost.
I see this on the daily. Everything from yesterday at the gym sitting next to a guy on the bike who expected me to listen to him yell and swear at someone on his phone as if I was working in his box container office on some construction site with him. Yes, you know I said something. But that didn’t stop him, he just got off the bike and paced behind me talking even louder on the phone. Yes, I said something again. HA The reality is his entitled ass needed to lower his expectations and realize he can not affectively run a business from the gym. Not on my watch, I am not having it.
In the morning, I get on social media and see thousands of intense direct messages. Everywhere, twitter, only fans, instagram, everywhere. Some people have a running page with a hundred some messages of the range from “Lisa, I love you, I am want to marry you, I am married to you, all the way to, Lisa I hate you, you don’t pay any attention to me. What do I have to do? I get death threats, obsessive violent threats and all kinds of chaos, WHY? Because obviously some people’s high expectations can’t be met, not matter what. I could have a team of 20 working and we would still not satisfy the needs of others. This is why I decided no more DMs. The reality that I have to scan them for anything important is painfully real tho.
I have even started to apply this in many life situations and a couple really random things took place when I was out with a friend recently. As we were making our way through the horrendous service and I was still smiling, my friend addressed her annoyance and asked how I was being so patient. I said I have come to a point that when I leave my house I accept the “free for all” that we call life. I also learned a valuable life hack a couple years ago from a friend. I recited the quote from Bob “The key to life is lowering your expectations” we both laughed and agreed it made sense.
See we never know what is really going on. Is it a new hire at the restaurant? Did someone have a bad day before our exchange? Are some people potentially just idiots? ALL yes across the board, but we can’t control others, only ourselves. With that said, take today & instead of getting annoyed at others, find your space, your place in your head where you can consider that not everything is going to go the way we want it to all the time.
Trust me, since applying this thought to my mindset, I am more patient (minus the guy at the gym, that is the one place I have high expectations and the one place I will fight to protect those expectations) – BUT everywhere else I can actually just be in my own moment and not put another thought into things that don’t go the way that I had expected!